I first knew something was up when I had this sense that my body was no longer mine. It was like someone had moved in when I wasn't paying attention.
I knew I better take a pregnancy test. My sinking suspicion was correct; I was pregnant! There it was on that darn stick telling me my life had altered completely!
My first instinct was, 'Not on my watch!'
Instead of going with my knee jerk reaction of panic, I took a deep breath and instead called a friend and baby whisperer Cara Wright. I wanted to go into this eyes wide open and really know what my options were.
From the very beginning, it was unlike any conversation I had before.
Cara spoke with me and the being that wanted me to be its mom. She didn't judge me for getting into this pickle. She just asked me questions.
Along the way, we discovered this being was a determined, rather loud entity looking for a baby body.
At first, I was like kid you got get out of my face!
Cara very calmly asked me questions which allowed me to see that I had choices in what I had thought was a previously black and white scenario. She also showed me that I could still, respectively say no to the baby body and also allow this spirit to contribute to my life.
What was also really unique was Cara didn't have a point of view of what I needed to choose.
She had me look at different scenarios and get the energy of what they would create in my life.
For instance, Cara said, 'Look at choosing to raise the child with the biological father or raise it with my past partner or raise it on your own or choose not to have it'. She said if I were willing to look at all the possible options, I would get a sense of what would create the future I desired.
Very clearly, I was able to see that surprisingly raising the child as a single mom rather than being with the father was giving me more of the life I wanted to create. However, politely declining to be the baby's mom was ultimately the choice that gave me a sense of a greater future.
This whole experience gave some phenomenal insights that I honestly would not have had without this being and Cara's facilitation.
I was able to break the cycle of abuse with the relationship I kept going back to. My brief journey with this spirit allowed me to have the courage and conviction to walk away from that forever.
This being also helped me realise I much prefer the role of indulgent aunt to being a parent.
We both realised that although I chose not to have the baby body, this being and I could still contribute to each other. I have a close relative that is trying to get pregnant. So you know what, this kid may be part of my life, after all.